Confusing Sexuality and Morality
Is Marriage Definition the Same for Heterosexuals and Homosexuals?
Apr 9, 2009
In America, where there is separation of church and state, do some legislators and judges make decisions based on their religion? Is this nation – called the great melting pot because of the diverse nature of race, nationality and religion of its people – producing laws and court decisions that primarily suit personal views of those who make them?
Double Standard for Gays and Straights
Is it okay for heterosexual abusive men and sexual predators to marry, but not okay for stable homosexuals to be married? It often appears that the route for all heterosexuals to marriage is an inherited right, but that the same criteria doesn’t apply to homosexuals.
Some heterosexuals become ideal spouses and parents. Some don’t. The same is true of homosexuals. What’s wrong here? The answer: Sexuality is being confused with morality. The sexuality of all homosexuals is being judged as immoral, no matter what the character of the individual is. Seen in the light of Christian religions that call people to love one another and to be inclusive, this double standard and the confusion of sexuality and morality could be considered immoral. Legislators who take religion into legislative chambers where the task is to work for the public good might be in the same bailiwick.
Outdated Morality
Some of the most severe pejorative remarks about homosexuals come from adherents to fundamentalist religions who apply very literal meaning to the Bible. Their take: If the Bible says it, then it has to be true.
Well, the Bible says adulterous women should be stoned to death. Yet, everybody agrees that in America we should not do this. This, then, is inconsistent logic. A negative Biblical description applies for gays, but another negative Biblical recommendation does not apply to women who cheat on their husbands.
Lessons Learned
There is one large category of people who have sorted out the difference between sexuality and morality when applied to homosexuals. These are the parents and siblings of homosexuals – family members who, before they were confronted with the actual reality, may have been outspoken in their blanket condemnation of gays and lesbians.
These family members knew – and loved – their homosexual children or siblings. They knew them as individuals, as people of worth. They appreciated their honesty, or their work ethic, or their compassion for others. The list of wonderful attributes some people have is marvelous no matter whether they are gay or straight. Conversely, outrageously bad traits – whether ascribed to gays or straights – are equally heinous.
Intolerance and Homosexuality
William Sloane Coffin Jr., longtime Yale chaplain and social activist, has called treatment of homosexuals the last frontier of intolerance in America. In a speech during the Yale Divinity School two-day program honoring him at age 80, Sloane said some of the most difficult tasks now facing clergy deal with “the treatment of same-sex couples, pollution, and nuclear proliferation…”
Dr. Sloane also quoted Robert Kennedy: “As Robert Kennedy properly observed, ‘What is dangerous is not that extremists are extreme but that they are intolerant.'”
Mixing morality and sexuality causes confusion. Applying moral judgements to entire groups of people does not acknowledge individual worth and smacks of intolerance.
A companion article discusses a new framework for civil unions and marriage. (The author is an ordained deacon and a lesbian.)
